Did you find yourself saying or asking these phrases \ Are you asking\wondering these questions \ are you repeatedly saying these words to yourself?
Why can't I do that?
This is not how I pictured my life...
Why am I stuck?
Life is not fair...
What I supposed to do now?
I can't be consistent in anything...
You're not alone. believe me.
These thoughts come to our mind sometimes, I admit. also in mine. But the real question is the power you give it in your life and how often.
You must've heard it a lot, right?
One side of us is trying to live upon the standards from our society and all around us but in the other hand we sometimes feel the need to judge ourselves constantly and it feels like it's never ending.
How does this feeling happened and takes control of us?
In my opinion, It happens when you and your mind become ‘separate entities’ and your mind instead of being a part of you and helping you to be the best that you can be, becomes an enemy that sits there and constantly criticizes yo. bands away day after day at all your confidence, creativity, and enthusiasm; leaving you left with guilt, judgment, insecurity, fear, and more fear.
How can you possibly be the lion of your story, the first role, if even though you have all necessary elements to succeed but you keep playing the secondary character?
How to change
First, try to change your thoughts by creating positive affirmations.
affirmations are not always positive, they are must of the time negative and they create those negative affirmations such as "I will not succeed this project", "This is too much for..."
Affirmations, both negative and positive impact the neurological functioning of our brain.
Notice the words you use describing everything, not just yourself, the world around you.
By using negative words even in the small things. you make an affirmation and this is how your day will look like. Try replacing the words "I can't" by "I will try better next time" or instead of "I have to make it" "I will make it".
Therefore we need to observe our thoughts. When we lose our place as protagonist we are leaving space for something else to fill the role for you. That some else is your own mind. Your mind can be used for your benefit but in the other hand it can be a weapon that can hurt us. In the beginning we just need to analyze them, don't argue or fight against them, just let them be. With time and properly control, trained and analyzed we can make the change. Observe the thoughts that come to your mind daily. When you do so you take control.
"The present is the best present we have".
When you do so you are going back to the present, into reality.
Being present is another key of us starting to be the protagonist of our lives.
The present is the only moment we are actually living and it's time to take action.
The past is already gone... It is not the regret of yesterday or the fear for tomorrow, but it is the present that counts. This concept really hit after i read the power of now.
Learn to Let Go
When you are not the main character, certain thoughts take control of your mind that cycle over and over again. Many “what ifs” and “I should or shouldn’t haves.”
Time has passed- you can’t change it so move on. Thinking about it over and over again on isn’t going to change it- it is only going to take away from your present moment.
How about What can I do now? These are all speculative questions that focus on how to become better. Try to come back to the present and just BE.
Let go of that feeling of trying to control everything.
Some things are out of control, they are not in our hands to change it so...
Stop feeling responsible for everything that happens around you. Personally like I had to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders and that if I didn’t I was disappointing everyone. I viewed my life through obligations and not pleasures.
I would always say yes to things I truly didn’t want to say yes to because I felt guilty or responsible.
What helped me was listening to my emotions. I recommend you do the same.
When you are doing that particular thing do you feel resentful or at peace? Learn to ask yourself how you feel and learn to listen to your emotions.
Your emotions are the guides that tell you what you actually think or feel about something.
You Have Nothing to Lose
Fear is what takes away your ability to feel like the lion inside of us, that avoid the ability of being the protagonist in our lives as we deserve. Sometimes we confuse our fears with the reality. Our fears bring us self doubts, makes us think we are not enough (smart, beautiful, talented, etc.) but maybe all of this fear is just the insecurity behind it?
Make sure your fears are founded on some legitimate example or concept- if they are not, it is just extra noise that is draining your positive energy and convincing you otherwise.
Let go of those fears you have nothing to lose, with time the practice you'll realize those fears didn't have any fundament and they weren't based on reality.
Whenever you are deep in thought about something or when you need to make a decision, ask yourself:
"Should this thought of fear take all this energy and time- is it really true?
Instead ask yourself, “Do I have something to lose?” The answer will most likely be no.
So just pick yourself up and get that ‘why not?’ attitude
Even if it's small steps, just start doing. Slowly but surely you will find yourself back in the front stage.
Don’t Judge Yourself & Don't compare yourself to other
Your thoughts (when you are caught up in a cycle of non-protagonism), are usually faulty and not at all a reflection of who you are and what you want. Your thoughts tend to mirror insecurities and circle about in endless negativity that lead to nowhere, if not more negativity. You will start to identify with your thoughts and believe that you really are weak, incapable or so forth.
You are not your thoughts as we already mentioned before. You can control them.
Also, remember that each person had his own path and not everyone goes in the same route and that's all the beauty.
Therefore, we need to accept where we are, at any age and what can we accomplish now and not what others accomplished in our age but don't surrender to your thoguts..
Remember that these thoughts are here not because they are truly founded on a grounded in some idea you had in mind from the past.
All they to is continue to weaken you so that your mind can maintain control.
Remind yourself that you are not your mind, so that when you observe those thoughts you can also interrupt them.
At the end of the day YOU control your destiny. Not your mind, not your best friend, not your boss, not your fears, not your worries- you!
As soon as you realize this you will recognize the power that you really have in guiding where your life heads and what person you really become. Every choice that matters is one that stems from you.
The Four Agreements
The Power of Now
The Power of Self-Confidence
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
The Power of Positive Thinking